Dr. Sherri R. Edelman, Clinical Psychologist and Licensed Professional Counselor .It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. A "bad" relationship is not the kind that is going through the usual periods of disagreement and disenchantment that are inevitable when two separate people come together. A bad relationship is one that involves continual frustration; the relationship seems to have potential but that potential is always just out of reach. In fact, the attachment in such relationships is to someone who is "unattainable" in the sense that he or she is committed to someone else, doesn't want a committed relationship, or is incapable of one. Bad relationships are chronically lacking in what one or both partners need. Such relationships can destroy self-esteem and prevent those involved from moving on in their careers or personal lives. They are often fertile breeding grounds for loneliness, rage, and despair. In bad relationships the two partners are often on such different wave-lengths that there is little common ground, little significant communication, and little enjoyment of each other. Statistics show that 60 percent of marriages end in divorce. One reason may be that many couples don't seek counseling until it's too late. Most people who have tried relationship counseling believe it works, and couples who have split often say they wish they had tried counseling first. You can walk out on your marriage, but you can't run away from yourself — no matter how hard you try. One of the biggest challenges for most couples is learning how to stop blaming each other so that they can work through the troubled times without the power struggles. Relationship counseling offers a safe haven for couples to express their needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don't know how to validate each other. But with the right counseling and a little practice, couples can learn the skills to save their relationships. take a "whole-body" learning approach. They look for the physical "dance" that's going on between partners, and ask couples to notice what's going on in their bodies. Is there tension? If so, where? Is their breathing shallow? By identifying actual body sensations, such as "my heart is racing," people accomplish two things: change their state of consciousness, and begin to communicate on a level that is unarguable. Communicating in a way that is unarguable is the most valuable skill you can learn, because it allows you to communicate without blame. "Identifying body sensations is the foundation for identifying how we create and resolve conflict. a psychologist, takes a more confrontational approach to stopping the "blame cycle" by asking couples to decide to be happy, not right. His seven steps involve: Defining what's "wrong" with you and your relationship; ridding yourself of "wrong" thinking; switching from negative thoughts/behaviors to positive thoughts and behavior; internalizing new personal relationship values; developing a winning "relationship formula"; reconnecting with your partner; and learning to maintain your relationship. Triune. Dr. Sherri Edelman, Philadelphia, PA. Pennsylvania. Philadelphia County Psychologist, professional counselor specializing in counseling relationships, including friendships, parenting, financial, professional.
Topics & Services of the Philadelphia Psycholgist:
| coaching | counseling | therapy | depression | anxiety | anger management | relationships |
| mental health | psychotherapy | consultation | clinical psychology | physical abuse | child abuse |
| sexual abuse | rehabilitation | adolescents | mind and spirit | holistic counseling | domestic violence |
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